\nYana Viktorovych, for UP, 24.09.2004, 16:40 \n \nOn Thursday, during a conversation, my friend joked: "So, after Yushchenko's poisoning, it's necessary to stage a terrorist attack against Yanukovych. For balance." We laughed, and on Friday a news story broke in Ukraine – an attack was carried out on Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych in Ivano-Frankivsk. \n \nThis report was distributed by the UNIAN agency at 9:55. \n \nAs the author of the report noted, as he was exiting the bus near the Stefanyk Precarpathian University, unknown individuals began throwing eggs at Yanukovych. He fell. A bodyguard carried the premier to another car. \n \nThe car immediately drove away from the university after that. Thus ended Yanukovych's first meeting with the electorate in the Precarpathian region. \n \n"Interfax" presented this event as "he stumbled on the bus steps, security picked him up and led him away." \n \nHonestly speaking, it's very hard to imagine how the burly Yanukovych (nearly 2 meters tall and over 100 kilograms in weight) would fall from just one egg. Therefore, details were highly desired. \n \nAn egg, a tripod, or a stone? \n \nA statement about the events from Yanukovych's press secretary Hanna Herman appeared only an hour and a half later. According to her, two throws were made at the premier, one – with a hard object. The person who attacked Yanukovych has been detained. An inquiry is underway. \n \nThe press secretary also reported that there is no threat to Yanukovych's life. \n \nPrior to this, Herman stated that at the rally there was "a radically minded part of representatives of the 'Our Ukraine' bloc, which behaved aggressively, forcing the premier's security to protect him." \n\nWhen asked by "Ukrainski Novyny" why she decided that the attackers were representatives of "Our Ukraine," Herman replied that they were holding flags with the inscription "Yes, Yushchenko." \n \nHerman did not specify exactly how they displayed aggressiveness, noting that she personally did not see the incident (!). \n \nYanukovych's newly minted advisor Taras Chornovil described the situation to journalists as follows. \n \nThe deputy, who, by his own words, is not participating in Yanukovych's campaign, somehow suddenly found himself in the same bus as the premier. He said that when they pulled up to the Precarpathian University, they saw a group of young people with "Our Ukraine" symbols chanting "Yushchenko!" \n \nWhen the premier was exiting the bus, there was a moment when he was on the steps, while the security was already on the ground. According to Chornovil, this was the only moment when one could take a targeted shot at him. \n \n \n \nHowever, these words are not confirmed by the photo report on the website of the Ivano-Frankivsk portal www.ifportal.net – there it is clearly visible that Yanukovych is already standing on the ground unharmed and is about to shake someone's hand. \n \nAccording to Chornovil, several objects were thrown at Yanukovych, and "I saw a stone fly and hit him in the head, someone else was throwing eggs." \n \nAfter the blow to the head, the premier staggered and began to fall. Bodyguards caught him and carried him to the car, which immediately drove to the hospital. \n \nChornovil emphasized that the incident "is not a hooligan prank, when someone grabs whatever is at hand." "This is a rather well-thought-out thing, but I don't have the courage to say that this action was a task of Viktor Yushchenko's Central Headquarters," said Chornovil. \n \nSomeone is lying... \n \nAt the same time, at 12:01, the press service of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Ukraine distributed a report that "no heavy or blunt objects" were thrown at Prime Minister Viktor Yanukovych in Ivano-Frankivsk. \n \n"Only an egg was thrown," Tetiana Podoshevska, head of the ministry's public relations department, told the "Interfax-Ukraine" agency. \n \nThus, the MIA completely disavowed the statement of Yanukovych's press secretary, presenting the premier as the victim of an ordinary egg. And they even named an interesting criminal – the son of a dean who was in Yanukovych's supporters' column. \n \nAfter such a statement, the diagnosis could only be one – Yanukovych's headquarters staged the terrorist attack on themselves. \n\nProbably, this was understood at the top as well, because already at 12:34 the MIA department in Ivano-Frankivsk region told the "Interfax-Ukraine" agency: during the incident, two heavy objects hit Yanukovych – in the chest and head. \n \nThey also reported there that the people who threw them were members of the "Union of Young Nationalists." However, the Ministry of Justice told "Channel 5" that no such organization exists. \n \nThe premier, as of 14:00, was in the intensive care unit of the Ivano-Frankivsk regional hospital. Moreover, "Viktor Yanukovych is lying under a drip," Herman told RIA "Novosti" and added that there is no threat to his life. \n \nThe situation is more than strange, because at the same time at 12:37 the Ukrainian service of the BBC distributed a report that Mr. Yanukovych had already been discharged from the hospital after approximately an hour of examination. \n \nSo, it's clear that nothing is clear. Virtually every news item contradicts the previous one. What was thrown – eggs or a piece of a tripod from a movie camera? Who – a guy from Yanukovych's supporters or extremists with "Yes!" flags? And where is Yanukovych – under a drip or already gone? \n \nIf a stone was hurled at Yanukovych, as Chornovil says, then why did not a single report mention blood?! Despite the security, people should have seen it and talked about it. When at a recent "Dynamo" match against "Roma" a referee was hit with just a lighter, his whole face was covered in blood. And Yanukovych was supposedly hit with something heavier than a lighter? \n \nIn the account of the BBC correspondent reporting from the scene, the story looked like this: more than a thousand students gathered for the meeting with Yanukovych. And even those who stood in Yanukovych's column chanted "Yushchenko!" Then there was an egg throw. \n\nAs an eyewitness recounts on the "Ukrainska Pravda" forum, Yushchenko supporters were not allowed into the event, so they made their way in individually. Although even those were later pushed out. \n \nPeople who stood three meters from the bus saw Yanukovych come out and take his first step off the bus. Then someone threw an egg at Yanukovych, and the impression was that the premier was falling, security surrounded him and turned him back to the car. After that, the "terrorist" was swept up. At the crime scene, only eggshells were visible. No solid objects. \n \n"Ukrainska Pravda" separately contacted another witness of the events. "At the moment when Yanukovych was exiting the bus, an egg flew at him. It smashed against the right side of his chest. But on the asphalt at the scene there are two traces of broken eggs – one directly where Yanukovych stood, the other – a bit further away." \n \n \nLater, a photo of the broken egg was posted on the same website of the Ivano-Frankivsk portal www.ifportal.net. \n \nAnd the "scumbags" from "Our Ukraine" will still get theirs... \n \nMeanwhile, the incident has already become overgrown with a web of political accusations. By midday, passions moved from Ivano-Frankivsk to the parliament session hall. \n \nPeople's Deputy Volodymyr Koloniari from "Regions of Ukraine" delivered the following tirade from the parliament rostrum: "you, Our Ukraine people, have raised scumbags, a gang." "You want to fight with such methods, you will get them. You won't find it funny," he stated. \n\nIn response to this, "Our Ukraine" deputy Mykola Tomenko reminded that such dirty methods of struggle began with the presidential administration. Another Our Ukraine member Yuriy Karmazin mentioned extremists who carry out the authorities' orders to destabilize the situation and recalled the attack by Korchynsky's "Brotherhood" on the Central Election Commission. \n \nSocialist Ivan Bokyi stated that the MIA issues "cover passports" to specially trained provocateurs. Yushchenko's Central Headquarters stated that its supporters have no relation whatsoever to the incident. Any attempts to link Yushchenko's activists to this incident were called another "dirty" technology of the authorities. \n\nThe head of Yushchenko's Ivano-Frankivsk headquarters, city mayor Zinoviy Shkutiak, did not rule out that this story could be "a developed scenario of Yanukovych's team." \n\nThe head of Yushchenko's election headquarters in Lviv region, Petro Oliynyk, also called the accusations against "Our Ukraine" of attacking Yanukovych far-fetched. \n\n"It makes me laugh when representatives of 'Our Ukraine' are accused of attacking presidential candidate Viktor Yanukovych. After all, in Ivano-Frankivsk region, where Viktor Yushchenko has 80-90% support, it is absolutely unnecessary to do this," he told the Western Information Corporation. \n\nAnd the head of Yanukovych's headquarters in Lviv region, Yuriy Kril, called this cave-like savagery, noting that it is precisely such "honest" technologies that their opponents use. \n\n"I would not put the Yushchenko poisoning case and today's assassination attempt on the same level. The first issue is very complex – an investigation is underway, commissions have been created for the investigation, including in the Verkhovna Rada. That is, this process is lengthy. And today's incident is a fact. Right now the premier is in the intensive care unit of the Ivano-Frankivsk regional clinical hospital," he stated. \n\nVictims of terrorist attacks... \n\nThe history of terrorist attacks against premiers began in 1996, when Pavlo Lazarenko was blown up. In 2004 it got a continuation. \n\nObviously, this "terrorist attack" was simply necessary for Yanukovych's headquarters after what happened to Yushchenko. In the language of technologists, this is called a "symmetric response." \n\nThe history of Ukraine knows countless such examples of special services' work. When in 2001 the first opposition tents appeared on Independence Square, a "pro-authority" camp immediately grew there. When the Melnychenko tapes appeared, the SBU spread false information that Gongadze received visas to the Czech Republic from the ex-major. \n\nThe most recent examples – when surveillance of Yushchenko was discovered in the summer of this year in Crimea, a few days later an incident with a KamAZ truck occurs. That is, a single principle operates – to override with a provocation the resonance from an event that testifies to a crime by the authorities. \n\nHowever, now to every accusation that the authorities did something to Yushchenko, for example, Tihipko will be able to say: "And you look at Yanukovych." It's not excluded that the premier, for persuasiveness, will walk around with a bandaged head for another three weeks or so. \n\nHere is the victim before you – pity him. And let Yushchenko still prove that he was poisoned not by salad and beetroot soup. \n\nOnly Hegel's words come to mind (not Gelman's): the first time history happens as a tragedy, the second as a farce! \n\nNote that until now, eggs have constantly figured in events directed against the opposition – a year ago in Odesa and Sumy, Yushchenko was pelted with this product, in April of this year opposition deputies were treated with it in Mukachevo. And not once were there any detainees. \n\nIn world practice, throwing eggs at a politician is considered a traditional form of protest. Exactly a month ago, German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder was also pelted. The incident occurred during a visit to the city of Wittenberg, where Schröder participated in the ceremony for commissioning a new high-speed train. \n\nA year ago, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was then running for the post of Governor of California, was pelted with eggs. He has approximately the same build as Yanukovych, and arrived at a university campus to speak before voters. \n\nSchwarzenegger's assistant tried to wipe the movie star's damaged jacket. However, then the candidate for Governor of California removed the spoiled item of clothing from himself with a decisive gesture and continued on his way. \n\nLater, the Hollywood movie star commented on the incident as follows: "Now that guy owes me bacon. Everyone knows there can't be eggs without bacon." \n\nAs we can see, no "collaptoid states," which were diagnosed to Yanukovych at the hospital. \n\nA collaptoid state is a drop in blood pressure, which may be accompanied by dizziness and loss of consciousness. It arises from major blood loss, about which we have so far been forgotten to be informed, but the relevant TV channels may report it in the evening. \n\nAs doctors explained to "Ukrainska Pravda," this doesn't happen from egg throwing. Unless from fright. \n\nP.S. If there really was a terrorist attack on the presidential candidate, as a result of which his health deteriorated, "UP" wishes him a speedy recovery. This is what Yanukovych forgot to do regarding his main opponent in the elections. \n \n